Dealing with a month of anniversaries

Its been a little over a month since my previous, and only, entry, which is appropriate since my first was about my struggle with procrastination!  Obviously, a work in progress.  So, on to a new and more pressing subject currently-being deluged with bittersweet anniversaries of momentous events in Karsen's life.  October just happens to be chock full of them, and each rememberance is a mix of pain, sadness, joy, sorrow, and, in most cases, tears.  I'm not surprised by any of that, but I am a bit perplexed that I'm not as overwhelmed by this flood of emotion as I was a month ago.  I believe I had more anxiety prior to these dates because I was uncertain and a bit frightened of my reaction to reliving these historic moments .  Here is a synopsis of these sacred dates:  October 15 marked one year since the last time he was ever in the warmth and comfort of his own home, though we didn't know that outcome at the time.  The sweetest moment of that hectic day came when we were waiting for the ambulance to arrive, and Karsen wanted a bowl of his favorite ice cream, strawberry sherbet.  His brother riley joined him, and they sat quietly together on Karsen's cozy bed.  October 24 and 25 mark the days that Karsen received news of an available liver for transplantation, the call that we were waiting for since July.  Its really a great memory for me, because we had unabashed hope for a strong and healthy future.  The most important date is just around the bend- that day is October 27, his 21st birthday.  I already anticipated the potential for absolute emotional overload, so we planned a celebration of his life with his closest friends and family.  He was consistently a positive, upbeat, and life-affirming person, so we will carry on Karsen's legacy by honoring his special day.